Marriage is a huge commitment. Ideally, it is a decision that will last you the rest of your life. However, many people enter into marriage without all the tools they need to succeed and end up in marriage counseling later on. It is necessary to have a full understanding not only of the other person in the engagement, but of all their needs, wants, and goals.

These discussions don’t frequently come up in day-to-day life. However, they are incredibly important. There may be things that both of you have always wanted to talk about but just haven’t found the right time to bring it up.

Clearing the air and having a strong handle on what the other person is expecting of you can give your relationship a much better chance at lasting as long as you would like. In fact, some studies suggest a couple who participates in marital counseling before they make their vows can reduce their likelihood of divorce by 50 percent.

Here are the ways pre-marital therapy can give a couple a headstart on a great marriage.

Children

Many people have a plan for the years after they get married. And a lot of these plans include kids. The decision to have children is as big of a decision as it is to get married in the first place, if not bigger.

Kids can be a great gift to a couple. They can also bring a large amount of stress and put the marriage under pressure. Knowing what to expect is very important. It is also very important to make sure you are on the same page as your partner.

Marital counseling can give you a place to talk about the possibility of having children. Are you both sure you want to have kids? If so, how far down the road would you like to have them?

Visit Dr. Phil Chanin for marital therapy in the Nashville area.

Goals

Planning out your future goes further than the decision to have children. There are a lot of steps people generally take as they get older. However, not all of these decisions hold the same importance for everybody.

Buying a house, for instance, might be the goal of one person in a relationship while the other wants to focus on travel. These discrepancies can create problems down the road if they are not addressed in marriage counseling early on.

The goals of each partner need to be clearly outlined so they know what to work toward to make them both happy and fulfilled. These goals will dictate upcoming choices and actions. And through voicing these goals in marital therapy before the marriage even begins, the couple can avoid any disagreements or contrasting opinions about which is the next step to take.

Resolving Issues with Therapy

Couples often enter into marriage with some pre-existing issues. This is normal. There are bound to be disagreements and mistakes throughout a relationship. It is through moving past these issues that a strong bond is formed.

However, we can sometimes move past these issues without fully resolving them. It can be difficult to face problems head-on, especially when it deals with a person who means a lot to you.

These problems can lay dormant, but they never fully go away unless they are dealt with. Marital therapy can help bring these issues to light and resolve them before taking the first step together into marriage.

Expectations from Marital Therapy

All relationships are a give and take. Each person has to allow the space for their partner to grow while supporting them. These considerations take time to learn. And not only does a person have to learn how to be supportive, their partner has to communicate exactly what they need.

This can be a difficult thing for someone to figure out. What do I need from my partner? What do they need from me?

We can infer the needs of our partner and perhaps we can come close to figuring it out. But the best way to know what our relationship needs from us is to simply ask our partner. These discussions during marriage therapy can set a solid framework on which a stable relationship can be built.

Marriage Counseling & Resolution

Disagreements are inevitable. And chances are that you and your partner have had some tiffs before making it to marital therapy. This is healthy, as long as the disagreements don’t turn nasty.

It’s no secret how each of you handle a disagreement. The question is—how can you resolve these conflicts more effectively?

A psychologist trained for marital counseling can help both members of a relationship recognize the ways they can help turn conflicts into learning opportunities.

Dr. Phil Chanin has been helping couples with marriage counseling in the Nashville area for years. Visit today to see how he can help you.