Blog
27 Oct The Most Common Reason Couples Wait Too Long to Seek Marriage Counseling
Posted at 6:18 pm in Couples Therapy by jlbworks
When a relationship begins to show signs of strain, most couples do not immediately reach out for professional help. Instead, they wait. They hope things will improve on their own, convince themselves the problems are not serious enough, or quietly manage the tension until it becomes overwhelming. By the time many couples finally seek marriage counseling in Nashville, TN, they have often been stru…
26 Oct Acting Like We Did When We Fell in Love: Terrence Real’s Reflections on the Importance of Cherishing Our Partners
Posted at 10:42 am in Uncategorized by jlbworks
By Philip Chanin, Ed.D., ABPP, CGPBoard Certified Clinical PsychologistAssistant Clinical Professor, Department of PsychiatryVanderbilt University Medical Centerwww.drphilchanin.comphilchanin@gmail.com “Virtually all of the couples I meet, both in my clinical work and in workshops and seminars, are appreciation deficient and learn to become appreciation proficient. Partners seldom let each other k…
12 Oct Understanding the Grandiosity-Shame Dynamic: Terrence Real’s Take on the Flight from Less Than to Better Than
Posted at 8:44 am in Uncategorized by jlbworks
By Philip Chanin, Ed.D, ABPP, CGPBoard Certified Clinical PsychologistAssistant Clinical Professor, Department of PsychiatryVanderbilt University Medical Centerwww.drphilchanin.comphilchanin@gmail.com “A common compensation for shame, of feeling less than, is a subtle or flagrant flight into grandiosity, or feeling better than…the ‘narcissistic defense’ of using grandiosity to ward off shame…Grand…
28 Sep How Childhood Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships
Posted at 1:47 pm in News, Uncategorized by jlbworks
Many people assume that childhood is something we simply outgrow. While we may leave our childhood homes behind, the emotional experiences we have during our formative years often continue influencing our lives well into adulthood. The ways we communicate, respond to conflict, trust others, and form intimate relationships are shaped by much more than our current circumstances. Early experiences wi…
28 Sep Understanding Both the Containing Function and the Protective Function of an Internal Boundary
Posted at 9:38 am in Couples Therapy by jlbworks
By Philip Chanin, Ed.D., ABPP, CGPBoard Certified Clinical PsychologistAssistant Clinical Professor, Department of PsychiatryVanderbilt University Medical Centerwww.drphilchanin.comphilchanin@gmail.com Terrene Real’s second book is titled How Can I Get Through to You: Reconnecting Men and Women. He devotes an entire chapter to the idea of an “Internal Boundary.” This chapter is titled, “Learning…
13 Aug The Psychology Behind Toxic Relationship Patterns (& How to Break the Cycle)
Posted at 4:26 pm in Couples Therapy, Individual Therapy, News by jlbworks
Many people find themselves asking the same painful question after yet another unhealthy relationship ends: Why does this keep happening to me? Perhaps each relationship begins with excitement and hope, only to end in conflict, emotional distance, manipulation, or heartbreak. Maybe the people involved look different on the surface, yet the emotional experience feels strangely familiar. While every…
03 Aug Buddhist Reflections on the Four Brahma-viharas (“Divine Abodes”): Lovingkindness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy, and Equanimity: A Review of Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg.
Posted at 9:40 am in Individual Therapy by jlbworks
By Philip Chanin, Ed.D, ABPP, CGP Board Certified Clinical Psychologist Assistant Clinical Professor, Department of Psychiatry Vanderbilt University Medical Center “The practice of metta (lovingkindness), uncovering the force of love that can uproot fear, anger, and guilt, begins with befriending ourselves. The foundation of metta practice is to know how to be our own friend. According to…
30 Jul Understanding Covert Depression in Young Adults
Posted at 3:09 pm in Depression Treatment, News by jlbworks
When people think about depression, they often imagine someone who appears visibly sad, withdrawn, or unable to function. While those symptoms certainly exist, depression is not always easy to recognize. Many young adults experience what is commonly referred to as “covert depression,” where emotional distress is carefully hidden behind a successful, social, or seemingly happy exterior. College stu…
27 Jul What is the Problem with Complaining? Considering the Differing Perspectives of John Gottman and Terrence Real
Posted at 8:57 am in Uncategorized by jlbworks
“You will always have some complaints about the person you live with. But there’s a world of difference between a complaint and a criticism. A complaint only addresses the specific action at which your spouse failed. A criticism is more global—it adds on some negative words about your mate’s character or personality. ‘I’m really angry that you didn’t sweep the kitchen floor last night. We agreed t…
20 Jul Terrence Real’s Reflections on Performance Based Self-Esteem Versus Real Self-Esteem
Posted at 10:41 am in Couples Therapy by jlbworks
By Philip Chanin, Ed.D., ABPP, CGP Board Certified Clinical Psychologist Assistant Clinical Professor, Department of Psychiatry Vanderbilt University Medical Center www.drphilchanin.com philchanin@gmail.com “Like Narcissus’s obsession, covert depression is at its core a disorder of self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem is essentially internal. It is the capacity to cherish oneself in the face of one’…