Blog
28 Sep How Childhood Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships
Posted at 1:47 pm in News, Uncategorized by jlbworks
Many people assume that childhood is something we simply outgrow. While we may leave our childhood homes behind, the emotional experiences we have during our formative years often continue influencing our lives well into adulthood. The ways we communicate, respond to conflict, trust others, and form intimate relationships are shaped by much more than our current circumstances. Early experiences wi…
28 Sep Understanding Both the Containing Function and the Protective Function of an Internal Boundary
Posted at 9:38 am in Couples Therapy by jlbworks
By Philip Chanin, Ed.D., ABPP, CGPBoard Certified Clinical PsychologistAssistant Clinical Professor, Department of PsychiatryVanderbilt University Medical Centerwww.drphilchanin.comphilchanin@gmail.com Terrene Real’s second book is titled How Can I Get Through to You: Reconnecting Men and Women. He devotes an entire chapter to the idea of an “Internal Boundary.” This chapter is titled, “Learning…
13 Aug The Psychology Behind Toxic Relationship Patterns (& How to Break the Cycle)
Posted at 4:26 pm in Couples Therapy, Individual Therapy, News by jlbworks
Many people find themselves asking the same painful question after yet another unhealthy relationship ends: Why does this keep happening to me? Perhaps each relationship begins with excitement and hope, only to end in conflict, emotional distance, manipulation, or heartbreak. Maybe the people involved look different on the surface, yet the emotional experience feels strangely familiar. While every…
03 Aug Buddhist Reflections on the Four Brahma-viharas (“Divine Abodes”): Lovingkindness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy, and Equanimity: A Review of Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg.
Posted at 9:40 am in Individual Therapy by jlbworks
By Philip Chanin, Ed.D, ABPP, CGP Board Certified Clinical Psychologist Assistant Clinical Professor, Department of Psychiatry Vanderbilt University Medical Center “The practice of metta (lovingkindness), uncovering the force of love that can uproot fear, anger, and guilt, begins with befriending ourselves. The foundation of metta practice is to know how to be our own friend. According to…
30 Jul Understanding Covert Depression in Young Adults
Posted at 3:09 pm in Depression Treatment, News by jlbworks
When people think about depression, they often imagine someone who appears visibly sad, withdrawn, or unable to function. While those symptoms certainly exist, depression is not always easy to recognize. Many young adults experience what is commonly referred to as “covert depression,” where emotional distress is carefully hidden behind a successful, social, or seemingly happy exterior. College stu…
27 Jul What is the Problem with Complaining? Considering the Differing Perspectives of John Gottman and Terrence Real
Posted at 8:57 am in Uncategorized by jlbworks
“You will always have some complaints about the person you live with. But there’s a world of difference between a complaint and a criticism. A complaint only addresses the specific action at which your spouse failed. A criticism is more global—it adds on some negative words about your mate’s character or personality. ‘I’m really angry that you didn’t sweep the kitchen floor last night. We agreed t…
20 Jul Terrence Real’s Reflections on Performance Based Self-Esteem Versus Real Self-Esteem
Posted at 10:41 am in Couples Therapy by jlbworks
By Philip Chanin, Ed.D., ABPP, CGP Board Certified Clinical Psychologist Assistant Clinical Professor, Department of Psychiatry Vanderbilt University Medical Center www.drphilchanin.com philchanin@gmail.com “Like Narcissus’s obsession, covert depression is at its core a disorder of self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem is essentially internal. It is the capacity to cherish oneself in the face of one’…
20 Jul What’s Best for Your Children? Terrence Real’s Suggestions for Couples Contemplating Divorce
Posted at 10:21 am in Couples Therapy by jlbworks
By Philip Chanin, Ed.D., ABPP, CGP Board Certified Clinical Psychologist Assistant Clinical Professor, Department of Psychiatry Vanderbilt University Medical Center www.drphilchanin.com philchanin@gmail.com “Whether it is better for children to have divorced parents or unhappy parents depends primarily on the level of open conflict in the home. Decades of developmental research indicate th…
13 Jul Overcoming Relationship Ambivalence and Deciding Whether to Stay in Your Marriage: A Review of “Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay” by Mira Kirshenbaum
Posted at 9:13 am in Uncategorized by jlbworks
“If you’ve suspected that it’s not good for you to stay up in the air, you’re right. Staying ambivalent, in fact, can cause tremendous damage. Being stuck like this can end up killing you emotionally if you stay when you should be getting out. And it can end up killing your relationship if you keep thinking about leaving when it could be fixed if you only put energy into it. You can end up being d…
30 Jun Why Do I Keep Attracting Narcissistic Relationships?
Posted at 2:40 pm in Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), News by jlbworks
Finding yourself repeatedly involved with narcissistic partners can feel like an exhausting cycle that seems impossible to break. This pattern is more common than many people realize, and understanding the underlying psychological mechanisms can be the first step toward creating healthier relationship dynamics. Understanding the Attraction Pattern When individuals consistently attract or are attra…