When it comes to romantic relationships, you are bound to hit a few road blocks. Signs you may have already stumbled across a broken connection include lack of communication, lack of priority, and dishonesty, among others. 

A little care and effort can go a long way when renewing a special relationship in your life. If you’re not ready to embark on couples therapy, you can work to re-energize your relationship with intention and communication, and gain an understanding of how and why things are different. 

Find the Source of Your Disconnection

Finding the source of disconnection in a relationship can be a complex process, but here are some steps that may help:

• Reflect on your own feelings: Start by taking some time to reflect on your own feelings and experiences in your relationship. Consider what has changed or shifted in your feelings towards your partner, and try to identify any specific instances or patterns that have contributed to this change.
• Communicate with your partner: Talk to your partner about how you are feeling and what you have noticed about the relationship. Ask for their perspective and listen actively to their responses. Be kind, encouraging, and willing to forgive. To get into good conversational habits, consider couples counseling for ongoing therapeutic techniques. 
• Identify patterns: Look for patterns in your interactions and try to identify specific behaviors or situations that may be contributing to your disconnection. This could include things like communication styles, differences in values or expectations, or unresolved conflicts.
• Consider external factors: It’s important to consider external factors that may be impacting your relationship, such as work stress, financial difficulties, or health issues. External stress can have a significant impact on the dynamics of a relationship.

The disconnection between you and your partner goes both ways, so don’t blame yourself for a broken relationship. 

Spend Time Apart 

If you want to rekindle your relationship, then there should be a balance between quality time together and quality time individually – after all, it’s hard to be willing to forgive if you don’t first forgive yourself. 

Taking time apart will allow both partners to gain perspective on the relationship and their own feelings. When you’re in the midst of a fight or break-up, it can be difficult to see things objectively. That’s why you both need to step back and engage in self reflection. 

Spending time apart can also help build anticipation for the time you’ll spend together again and rekindle feelings of love and attraction. Understand that your time apart should be done intentionally and with clear communication, because the goal is to use that time to reduce tension and deepen your connection. 

Don’t neglect your own feelings. During your time apart, consider individual therapy to help reconnect with yourself. 

Rediscover What You Have in Common

To reignite your relationship, you and your partner should try to revisit and touch base with your roots. Nostalgia is a psychological benefit for building healthy relationships and rediscovering what made you so close. 

Take the time to reflect on shared experiences, talking about things you enjoyed together and memories you’ve created. Attending events or gatherings that align with your shared interests are another great way to rediscover what you have in common. Whether it’s a concert, art exhibit, or sports game, attending events together can help you both to feel more connected and engaged with each other.

Rediscovering common interests is an ongoing process that requires effort and communication from both partners. Be patient with each other and try not to rush through your memories, and instead enjoy each other’s presence. 

Accept That Your Partner is Different Now

Accepting that your partner is different can be a challenging but important part of rebuilding a healthy and fulfilling relationship. This involves open communication and empathy. Be ready to walk in your partner’s shoes to understand their values and what brought along a sudden change if you’ve witnessed one. 

Recognize that your partner’s differences may challenge you to grow and evolve as a person. Embrace this process and see it as an opportunity to learn, develop new skills, and deepen your relationship.

That being said, change isn’t always a good thing. In an unfortunate turn of events, you may find it’s time to stop waiting for things to go back to the way they were before, and be willing to let go. Change is inevitable in life, and it’s possible the person you first met has discovered a version of themselves that no longer connects with you. You may try to salvage what you can, but don’t force yourselves to solve differences. 

Try New Things Together

If your relationship is stagnant, then keep things fresh and exciting by trying something new. Trying new things can be a great way to discover more shared interests and hobbies, as well as create all new memories. Consider something that neither of you have done before, or revisiting an old interest that you’ve both enjoyed in the past. 

Remember, as you’re setting goals with your partner, be willing to compromise. Try something your partner is interested in even if you might not be. The most important thing is to approach new experiences with an open mind, a sense of adventure, and a willingness to explore and learn together.

Couples Therapy With Dr. Phil Chanin 

If you are having difficulty identifying the source of disconnection or resolving issues in your relationship, consider seeking the help of a professional therapist. A trained couples therapist can help you identify and work through the underlying issues that may be contributing to the downfall of your relationship.

Couples therapy is about trying to see things from the other person’s point of view. You both will have the opportunity to present your perspective neutrally and respectfully in the presence of a trained professional. It takes commitment, communication, and a willingness to be vulnerable in order to rebuild relationships and re-energize the passion you both once shared. 

Dr. Phil Chanin is a licensed clinical psychologist in Nashville, TN. If you are in the area and would like to consider couples therapy, contact Dr. Phil Chanin today for further information.